


Long Song Away

by rubenel



Category: Dream SMP - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Angst, Brotherly Love, Dave | Technoblade and Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, Fluff and Angst, Isolation, Mental Breakdown, Mental Instability, Platonic Relationships, Sadinnit, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tommy needs a hug, dream is trying to be better, everyone is trying, i cant stress enough there are no romantic ships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 19:28:28
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28092417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rubenel/pseuds/rubenel
Summary: TommyInnit has had many things happen to him in life. He's fought in wars he couldn't fathom, sacrificed things he barely ever had the chance to cherish, worked himself into the ground staging a coup- but what he never expected to happen was o be thrown out of the very same country twice. The country he had sacrificed everything for. How could he have seen his best friend throwing him out coming? Surely he couldn't have.Now he is desperately alone.ORTommy copes with his trauma the only way he knows how- chaos, destruction, and shifting the blame- up until he can't anymore and the SMP has to help him before it's too late.
Relationships: Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Dave | Technoblade & Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Dave | Technoblade & TommyInnit, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Phil Watson, Toby Smith | Tubbo & Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 217





	Long Song Away

**Author's Note:**

> :D 
> 
> i am in hell.

If there was one thing Tommy had learned over his short lifetime it was that he never needed to apologize. No matter how much someone screamed or yelled or hit him- he was always in the right. 

He was always right.

So when Tubbo announced his exile- spat out that he was a liability- Tommy laughed in his face. He was joking. This must have been planned by Dream, Tubbo, Fundy, and Quackity. They must have really had to practice to make it this dramatic, though. Tubbo had a gleam in his eyes Tommy hadn’t ever seen before. It was one of resentment, anger, and above all disappointment. 

“Alright, alright, you can all drop the act now. You’re not really going to exile me, be reasonable!” Tommy said, huffing. He had had quite enough of this bit and wanted to get off of the wall. It was all quiet for a moment until Tubbo let out a soft, miserable chuckle. “It isn’t a bit. This isn’t a joke, Tommy. Get out of my country.”

And that had been it. The one thing Tommy had known for certain was shattered. The rain pelted down on his skin, chilling him to the bone. It had been precisely four weeks. Tommy didn’t sleep- he didn’t need it. Tommy didn’t wear armor- because as Dream had made clear, he didn’t need it. The smell of gunpowder was commonplace for Tommy now, much to his dismay. His hearing had been a bit fuzzy lately due to the explosions. Tommy didn’t eat much, the clawing feeling of hunger often being his only loyal companion.

Dream wasn’t here today, Tommy had noticed. He was here almost every day- even after Ghostbur had stopped visiting, Dream hadn’t. Dream was always here. His words branded into  
Tommy like hot iron, twisting into a phrase Tommy knew by heart now.

“They don’t care about you.” 

And Dream was right. They didn’t. It had been a whole month now and the only person who wasn’t dead who visited him was the very person who delivered him here. The person who took everything Tommy loved was the person who was giving him a lifeline. Without Dream… Tommy would’ve been dead the first week in. 

He found himself dissociating often these days, losing himself in old memories of when he wasn’t alone. Tommy was so cold all the time now. Not to mention he hardly ever spoke. He was still coping with the loss of everything- and now with no distractions, Tommy was forced to face his past too. Tommy hadn’t always had a family- though now it didn’t feel like he had one anyway. 

Often after he thought about all of the wars he’d been in- after he’d thought about Tubbo- after he’d thought about good things, and sad things, he found his eyes drifting towards the nether portal. Today… Tommy couldn’t help himself. 

He rose off of his bed and onto tired feet and entered the Nether. The warmth that welcomed him made Tommy sigh in content- before his eyes caught the lava. The bubbles that popped at the surface, the inviting crackle it provided- and Tommy wondered what it would be like to sink into it.

Unlike previous times he had thought similar things- there was no pushback from his brain. No one cared about Tommy. Dream had better things to do. Even Tommy’s dead brother’s ghost had left him. Tommy wasn’t always right. In fact, more often than not, Tommy was dead wrong. Maybe he would be less of a burden, less of a liability if he were gone for good. 

He hadn’t even noticed he’d moved until he looked down and saw the lava directly below his feet. He was stood in the exact place he’d been when he’d first considered jumping- when Dream had yanked him away. 

“It’s not your time to die yet.” 

That had been weeks ago. Tommy knew he wasn’t getting better. He was a waste. Nothing but a thorn in the side of the SMP. He knew what he had to do. He took a deep breath and walked to the portal leading back to L’manburg, opening an ender chest that had been left. He took out a jukebox and a disc- more specifically, chirp- and let it play as he sobbed on the edge of the cliff. He let out a scream that conveyed more emotion than Tommy could have ever managed to put into words. As he dropped to his knees, preparing to tip himself over the edge, he whispered-

“It was never meant to be.”

The air felt cold around Tommy as he plummeted towards the lava. He felt completely and totally alone- and he was. He hit the lava with a skull shattering scream, feeling fire burn through him and his skin. Something else hit him, though, and even though the pain was unbearable- he was no longer… taking… damage. 

No. 

He looked up to see a faint outline of a person, and suddenly they were plummeting down too. Tommy choked when they landed in the lava with a splash, not making a single noise. They yanked Tommy over their shoulder- and Tommy doesn’t remember what happened after that. He faded out of consciousness from the pain, still not knowing just who had “saved” him.

———

When tommy awoke he felt like he was in absolute hell. His throat was completely dry- like sandpaper had scraped away at it. The light hurt his head, and when he raised a hand to block the light he almost screamed at the look of his arms. They were covered in burns that looked like they’d been fading for years- and so were his legs. 

It was when he finally rubbed at his eyes he realized he wasn’t alone. Someone was slumped over asleep next to him-

No. No way. His throat tightened at the sigh of Dream. Dream was going to be so livid with him. Tommy knew Dream had told him off for getting hurt so many times, and he’d seem so genuinely angry the first time Tommy even looked at lava wrong. 

It was then Tommy realized the gravity of the situation. Tommy had attempted suicide and it had almost worked. Tommy had almost died. Without ever saying goodbye to anyone. Without seeing his brothers again, or his dad, or his friends. His eyes stung with tears and for the first time in a long time, Tommy let them fall. He sobbed like a baby, curling in on himself and just breaking. 

He didn’t know how long he’d been crying when Dream woke up, taking a moment to understand the scene before him before he quickly moved from his position, causing Tommy to flinch. “I’m so sorry Dream, please don’t leave me, please, I’m sorry.” His voice was broken and pathetic but Tommy was so afraid. He was already so alone and if Dream decided his fuck up was enough this time he didn’t know what he’d do. 

He felt so lost. Dream was supposed to be his enemy- but he’d saved him. In the end dream was always here. “No, no Tommy, I’m sorry. I pushed too hard. I didn’t- I didn’t think, Tommy. You could’ve died.”

“I should have,” Tommy whispered, Dream now crouched in front of the boy. “You should’ve let me. You were right Dream. I’m a stupid kid who doesn’t listen to anyone and they all hate me. You were right.”

There was a silence for only a moment before Dream pulled the boy into a hug. Tommy couldn’t help but break down in the older boy’s arms, pulling at Dream’s hoodie like it was an anchor. Then again, maybe it was. “You’re not stupid, Tommy. No one hates you. I promise no one hates you. I promise.” 

Dream’s voice was soft and genuinely kind, unlike past experiences. He ran a gentle hand through Tommy’s hair comfortingly, a sigh passing through him. “Tommy… I was wrong to push Tubbo to exile you. I was wrong to isolate you.” 

Tommy could only sniffle, pulling back from Dream. “It doesn’t matter anyway. They all showed how much they cared.” He wiped at his eyes frantically, not wanting to look weak any longer. “Dream… why do you still visit? You don’t blow up my things anymore, you- you stopped fucking with me, aren’t you bored?” 

Dream sat crossed legged now across from Tommy, pulling his mask off. “Tommy, I care about you. I have since we found you on the outskirts of the SMP. I was just so upset on how you never listened, how you lashed out- but you’re sixteen. I wasn’t fair.” 

There was a sigh from the older man before he rubbed the bridge of his nose. “It wasn’t that no one cared or wanted to see you. Actually, people tried all the time. But I put a barrier around this area that only I and ghostbur could pass through- ghostbur eventually wasn’t strong enough to pass through the barrier and that’s why no one came.” 

Tommy’s eyes widened with a flash of anger but it quickly faded out with the tears of relief that slipped down his cheeks. “Dream- does this mean- I can go back?” Dream gave him a soft smile before rising and extending a hand. “Yeah, Tommy. Let’s go home.”


End file.
